Promise Kept to a Fallen Sparrow

Opportunity to live true to my promise came June, 2004.

A school violence/bullying article appeared in the local paper. I wrote the reporter/columnist and senior editor and mailed a gift copy of Dear Daisy to introduce myself and to explain my interest in the topic.

Though word count exceeds printability as an editorial for your newspaper it is my understanding that longer editorials/topic comments are featured in the Speaking Out Section.
I am familiar with the case reported and am aware of the multiple efforts of the family to seek help and resolution. Over the course of similar time frame, I have been aware of other cases of similar circumstance and pattern occurring within our local schools. The numbers “unreported” publicly, suffered silently by children and families represent the voices still waiting to be heard. No doubt, the great works and words of (Reporter/Columnist) to seek truth and to shed light on patterns of behavior have given us opportunity to challenge systems that fail and will serve as a catalyst and platform for these children seeking voice. On behalf of those children may I say, "thank-you".

Dear Daisy was written as my personal account and to serve justice pathways, a voice for children. Bullying can have dire consequences and it is not just a kid’s game. I offer a gift copy in hopes that it will shed light on violence patterns, systemic responses, efforts to silence victims, and mostly to assist children speaking out against the attacks and violence to speak their truth of how systems charged with managing groups and Institutions continue to fail.

I look forward to all of your future articles and follow-thru efforts working to speak out against violence among and against children. May our community not fall back asleep before constructive efforts to resolve for our children can take root.

Sincerely,
Jane Marla Ver Dow


Editorial as written by author to newspaper

Not Just Kids Play
“Bullying can have dire consequences for children”(Santiago)
June 25, 2004 in the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle nudged us awake. Though our emotional shock is focused on the attack(s) may we remember that failure to provide, failure to act is an equal atrocity under terms of child abuse laws. As I read her article I noted: 2nd grade to fifth grade (time), multiple attacks (events to document), progressive violence (pattern), children reporting and demonstrating symptoms (victim voices), adults knowing (witness), policies written (criteria). What proof of circumstance are we looking for or who’s voice are we waiting to hear before action can lead towards a path to peaceful resolution?

With tax dollars and school budgets always in the news, number of school days strategically calculated to collect Monies, have we fallen into the psychological trap of previous Institution failures? Are we still viewing children as property? If Mandatory Reporting Laws hold Professionals accountable to be the watchdogs of family violence and abuse, does not the same spirit of the law apply when violence has been discovered or reported within their Halls or on property?

We live during the information age yet fail to communicate at basic core levels and fail to read current events beyond the front page. Before we as a community engage in the old divisive battle, the traditional taking up of sides with efforts to victimize the victim and block learning, structure, support and assistance to all victim(s), could we see clearly that children on both sides of this conflict are victims with needs. In our attempts to come to a place of mental acceptance and clarity or to find our comfort distance the question always surfaces just before our judgment: why this child? The answer: because one was in crisis and needed to be heard and the other child was the only one listening.

It is time to ask questions and to seek answers. Are we in a situation of “good” people caught too late asking the “right” questions? Has the “common sense” management and education of children lost its place buried within the collection of statistics? Did denial set-in? Denial will not reach truth, yet truth will rise. It is time for adult ears to listen. Children are screaming “ENOUGH!” Paper programs and flush money will not solve this. One Institution cannot do this alone.

We question why now at the close of this school year would this information rise to our consciousness? Summer vacations are in our hearts. This year closes and we put things away. Next year gives us hope to start over. Maybe the answer is simple. Summer is the time of growth.

Grow we must for the seed that has been planted is the seed of self-contempt, isolated and vulnerable pathways, self-defeating choices, and could at any moment manifest to retaliatory-justice seeking explosions. It is the seed of destruction of the good works we do, the means to the end once again out of balance with false promises to those investing in our education missions and believing in the foundation stones laid by family. If we open our hearts summer can be a time to reflect, to see the contrast reality between light and shadow. It is time to choose wiser the seed we plant.

While Rochester slept, the Supreme Court has already spoken. Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor provides perspective under Title IX and defines the burden of responsibility to provide safe and equal access to our publicly supported Institutions and Programs. How will Rochester interpret? How will our community meet this challenge?

Before we drift back to sleep dreams may we open our eyes and ears to realize that this is not an isolated event reported one day in a newspaper, our newspaper. Bullying is real and children are unprepared to face this alone or to resolve what society creates on pathways where justice is denied. We all are invested in the outcome. By what higher standards will we each hold ourselves accountable? Time will tell the story. While time passes and the Summer Sun provides its light may we reflect upon this question: Are we so concerned with how our Institutions look to a community that we fail to wonder how we appear to our children?

Jane Marla Ver Dow
Author, Dear Daisy, Rising Sparrow Press