Dear Daisy - Rising Sparrow

Is a book while it is being written, a book? Does the one that has been written have an ending? Where does the next chapter, or story, or book begin - where does the last end?

Dear Daisy I chose not to write in set chapters, or at least not to designate or separate thoughts in such an arbitrary or concrete structured way.

Near ending Dear Daisy I wrote: "Where this story began is where the story now ends. The place of heart and pondering what was and what will be."

Same words could open Rising Sparrow, the next.

"I remember music had nurtured my heart during the separation, in the aftermath, near the time of my walk to the Lake, and each snare on my path. My Soul needed music. Music was healing to my heart, gave me some sense of ground, a dream to dream not knowing what would be, a desire to continue and to meet the next day rather than just get there, and also a wish for the other." (Dear Daisy)

Same path, same truths today writing and editing Rising Sparrow with music playing, filling the gaps between words still just thoughts fighting, competing, then freeing to flow onto page as heart also connects. The space between notes-music and words-story, so much the same. Honoring the space is all it takes. Honoring the time gap, filling that space, holding that space, then letting go and trusting. (Rising Sparrow)

I remembered Daisy's first efforts to let me know that she was near, back where these words started. The flowerpot. Funny how even the distance Heaven to Earth is not too great a distance to offer support and love yet, on Earth support is claimed as rescuing and is unreal. Daisy taught me what real support feels like. I've learned after too many steps taken what I knew in the first place; that it aint got nothing to do with peoples telling you that they want to be supportive or that they are being supportive. "Whin dey bes, dey jus' be." My heart knows that much and always did. Now I remember. (Dear Daisy)

Now I remember.

I rediscovered the Truth that my heart has always known. Love has two sides; one when times and paths are shared, the other those times of letting go and we each showed our heart and love for eachother and moved on the best we knew...

Replaying the time and challenge with time always having final say I accepted time was in control but still wonder days heavy disheartened why life takes what life had once given and why limits of this life prevent people who love from sharing pathways. (Dear Daisy)

Nothing about love, the beauty-tragedy or plan of fate-destiny, has changed the script for my yearning heart. (Rising Sparrow)

In this healing place I "awoke" to a hand in my left hand and felt my heart-mind shift back to the awareness of time-heart realities. I felt the losses. I felt the time and distance between. I sensed time then, now, then endless where time holds no meaning. Sensing the depth of this touch in this moment was reaching I sensed a shift happening as my heart questioned, "what if". In this feeling of total Spiritual calm I returned to solid ground and thought, (I know this touch). I remembered feeling this touch and this energy three other times in my life, relationships with others I treasure. One was the touch of the one I'm no longer walking with. Once was the one from another place and time who I rarely speak of but the one my heart remembers when I sense peace and the life vibration energy World or when I speak deep from spiritual heart. The third, my hand was little and held Daisy's hand. I know this touch.

Was this a cruel reminder of these three losses now playing at a deeper level? Was this healing communicating energy felt through my left palm the message I had long waited for and traveled all those footsteps searching?...

I continued on my path, sensing with faith and time God would someday reveal. Only this I knew for sure, I was on my path. My heart was leading the way and each time before one hand had not replaced the other. I know each touch uniquely. Each has taught me a part of my Soulful heart; mostly the part of letting go and going on despite the hardships on that road and the promise of a new day long coming. Each hold their own path of heart and always will. (Dear Daisy)

My right hand? That one is in the Hands of God. (Dear Daisy - Rising Sparrow)

Even with broken heart and injured wing I knew not even a sparrow falls to Earth....Trusting I had heard the message of my heart's echo my attention shifted to the background music in the room. I recognized the song. My heart knew all the verses, especially the Negro Spiritual version. The words etched upon my heart.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound,
that saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost but now I am found,
was blind but now I see

The Earth shall sooth, his arm like snow
The sun forbears to shine
But God who brought me here below
will be forever mine

Through many dangers, toils, and snares
I have already come
'Twas grace that brought me here thus far
And grace will lead me home

(Dear Daisy)


So Truth remains truth, my own at least this day, February 14th, Valentine's Day, 2010. My three loves, I'll always love you. The Rising Sparrow promise from my heart. Happy Valentine's Heart Day.

As for me...this day...to Transition into more writing here on this blog from Dear Daisy to Rising Sparrow. The next...


Love,
Janie

http://storytellersandwriters.blogspot.com/2010/02/rising-sparrow.html

http://storytellersandwriters.blogspot.com/2010/02/keep-your-eyes-on-prize.html

or back to Home on this blog: http://storytellersandwriters.blogspot.com